Musings Over Heartbreak
by DefyingGravity4Good
Summary: L/W  Wednesday and Lucas mull over their relationship separately after their fight in the beginning of Act 2 of the musical. Rated T for slight language.


**I have now decided to do some hard-core angst. Hopefully I can…**

**This urge comes from the fact that I got the **_**Phantom of The Opera 25**__**th**__** anniversary **_**DVD and CD (kinda like they did the **_**Les Miserables**_** concert, except its fully staged). Nothing brings on angst like a good performance of my second favorite musical! And it was a stunning performance. Seriously, go get it. Now.**

**Anywho… I considered doing a What-If-Wednesday-**_**HAD-**_**missed-during-Crazier-Than-You-thing but I didn't particularly want to get flamed for killing Lucas… although, if you guys want me to do it, I can. (Gosh... that's painful to think about.)**

**This takes place in between Lucas and Wednesday's argument at the beginning of Act 2 and **_**Happy/Sad**_**.**

**Bold italics are flashbacks, and the first half is Wednesday's point of view, second is Lucas'. I've never really written in first person, so tell me how I did!**

….

"Not as sorry as you're going to be, when you wake up, and you're forty-six, and working for your _father._" I spat at Lucas. I hated it when we fought, but how could he bail on me like this?

I saw a cluster on ancestors, beginning to back me up, but I sent them a glare, silently telling them not to. As I turn on my heel and walk away angrily, I hear Lucas' voice yelling after me, "I can be impulsive! I just need to think about it first…" His voice became weak near the end. I ignored him and kept walking.

The prickling in the back of my eyes grew stronger, but I continued to blink it away. I don't cry. Not when I was a child, and not now, especially over a boy. I sunk down on the trunk of a nearby tree, bringing my knees to my chest. How could he? He said that we would travel the world together. That we would get married, and that he would always be there. Had he not meant it? Had he meant _any_ of it?

My mind wandered back to the day we met…

"_**L-Lucas Bieneke." He stuttered pathetically under the treat of my crossbow.**_

"_**Well, 'Lucas Bieneke' if you value your life or your dignity, then you will leave and never come back."**_

_**Lucas did nothing but continue to stare at me.**_

And I was thoughtless enough to stare back. Was it simply curiosity that had him so enthralled?

We had continued talking after I lowered the crossbow from his neck. I shouldn't have, though. If I had just shot him, my life would be much less complicated, and less painful.

Those damn tears returned at the thought and I brushed them away again. "See what you've done to me?" I whispered, knowing that he couldn't hear me.

"_**I love you." Lucas said earnestly, taking my hand.**_

_**I looked him in the eye, surprised by his confession, as that sick feeling entered the pit of my stomach again. I had gotten used to it over the past six months, but it had never been this intense. "Lucas… I-I love you too."**_

And I still do. He's said it many times since then, and I believed him.

I looked to my left, seeing the suitcase I had been carrying. I opened it, digging through it. I pulled out the small box Lucas had given me a few weeks prior, inside held a ring adorned with a black diamonds, surrounded by smaller white diamonds. I drew the ring from its slot and placed it on my left ring finger.

I stared at it for a time; he had given it to me weeks after he had proposed. He hadn't even planned on asking me to marry him. Maybe that's why he had backed out.

_**The door to the apartment flung open, revealing Lucas' gangly figure, "Hey, Wens!" He smiled enthusiastically.**_

"_**Hello." I said quickly, wasting no time in tugging him by the collar and kissing him.**_

_**He swiftly wrapped his arms around my waist. We stumbled further into the room, and he kicked the door closed, absentmindedly. We nearly tripped over the coffee table, falling onto the couch. "Marry me." He mumbled against my lips.**_

_**I pulled back for a moment, startled, "What?"**_

"_**Marry me." Lucas repeated, more sure of himself.**_

"_**Wh-I-you-wha… yes." I finally managed to stutter out.**_

I freely let the tears roll down my cheeks. Screw strength. I'm in love with that man, and he abandoned me. I'm not sure if I want to kill him, myself, or just wallow in self-pity… maybe I can manage all three.

I need to get out of here. Everything reminds me of him. I got up, grabbing my suitcase, and wiping my eyes, trying desperately to remove any evidence of my crying.

I walked through the swamp for a while, mulling over places I could go to escape, I wasn't drawn out of my thoughts until a thick Spanish accent called for me.

"Wednesday! Whe-" My father exclaimed, putting his hands on my shoulders to stop me

"Don't even-!" I began to interrupt, knowing what he would ask, and I really didn't want to talk about it.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

Ugh. He always meant business when he called me 'young lady'.

"Away." I answered curtly.

"Elopement?" he asked worriedly, and I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest.

"Daddy," I pleaded, knowing he couldn't resist listening to me when I acted like his little girl again. "Will you _please_ just let me go-"

"Woah, woah!" He took the suitcase out of my hand, stopping me once more, "First your mother, now you. Enough with the hormones!" I rolled my eyes, "You forget yourself… you forget your family." He sighed, "Marriage is a big step."

"There's not going to be any marriage." I snapped.

"No?" Father asked, almost hopefully. "Why?"

"He bailed." I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"What? A breach of promise!" He said dramatically. "An outrage!"

"He thought running away was a bad idea." And he probably regretted our entire relationship.

"On the other hand, he does have a point." Father said offhandedly. I looked at him incredulously. Whose side was he on, anyway?

"I hate him."

Father shrugged, "Well, it's a beginning, something to build on…"

I turned so I was facing him fully, "He says he can't live without me, and then he lets me go." I felt the tears brimming my eyes again. Ugh! Will they ever stop?

I looked up at my father, his eyes holding nothing but concern, "I love him" I affirmed. "Why doesn't he love me?" It was a question that had plagued my mind ever since Lucas and I's argument.

"You just said you hated him! Which is it?" He asked, knowingly.

"Both." A tear rolled down my cheek once again. Both of us ignored it.

"Now you've got it."

…

I'm an idiot. And a jerk. I'm an idiotic jerk! I ran a hand through my hair; I can't just let her walk away. Wednesday is the only reason I didn't go running back to Ohio after the first semester at NYU. I was scared, and didn't know what to do with myself in New York. But she brought me out of my shell, made me stronger, and, well, a better person.

And now look what I did to her! I just abandoned her. She probably hates me.

I began in the direction she had stormed off in; I was not going to give up without a fight. I kept going over our argument in my mind. We had fought before, but never like this.

_**"You know what I think? You don't even want to get married." I saw the hurt flash in her eyes as I said it, and immediately regretted my words. I knew she loved me. But does she still?**_

I was completely absorbed in my thoughts, because before I knew it, I looked up to see Wednesday and her father. I slipped into the shadows, waiting until they were done to try and talk to her.

Gomez looked his daughter in the eye, "Paloma, there's Hell in every Heaven, a 'hello' in each 'goodbye'. Life is harsh, and the future may seem to be set, but life is more enjoyable with someone you love by your side. Lucas is a good man." He smiled lovingly at the slight reddening of Wednesday's cheeks. "Let yourself be happy. I'm happy for you, even if its hard for me to let you go. But darling, give the boy one last chance."

Wednesday stepped forward and embraced her father. I made a mental note to thank Gomez later, when Wednesday lifted her head off of Gomez's shoulder and her eyes met mine.

It's now or never.

….

**And we all know what happens next! :D dang. Now I have to go obsessively listen to **_**Crazier Than You**_**.**

**Review!**


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